here in belfast

fyi: this entry is future dated, so it will always be at the top. this does not mean i haven't updated recently. just scroll down the page to read the actual latest entry!

just a few notes for my faithful readers (especially those of you who are less than computer/blog savvy):

• you can bookmark this site (yav-emily.livejournal.com), and it will update on its own whenever i post a new entry. i'll try to make sure to email you guys to let you know when i update, anyway.
• to recieve email updates from livejournal, click the link that says "track this" below any entry, and you should be able to track any time i update. i'll have to check on that when i'm not signed in to make sure that people without livejournal accounts are able to do this.
• to comment on a post, click the link that says "leave a comment" beneath any given post. you do NOT need a livejournal account to do this, but i would appreciate it if you'd sign your name so that i know exactly who left the comment.
• there are lots of different links on the sidebar (the right hand side of the page with my picture at the top).
  • "recent entries" just puts you on my main livejournal page.
  • "archive" shows you a calendar, where you can read older entries i've written. this is useful if you want to read an entry on a specific day. in order to read all my old entries, stay on my main page and scroll down. if you want to read more, click the link that says "previous entries."
  • "friends" takes you to the page with my livejournal friends' updates. i don't actually have any friends on this account, so that won't be too exciting.
  • "user info" shows you my profile, which has an update of fund-raising, as well as some contact information about me.
  • you can click on any "tag" to see entries i've written about those particular things. for example, by clicking on "placement," you can read about my placement and what specifically i'll be doing in belfast.
  • "page summary" just gives you the subject lines of my most recent entries that are on the page. like i mentioned before, if you want to read previous entries, click "previous 20," which will be located at the top and bottom left of the journal (as soon as i write more than 20 entries!).

i think that's it for now, but i'll add more if i think of it--if you have any questions about how to read/use my livejournal, please email me, and i'll do my best to figure it out for you. thanks for reading!

Iiiiiiiiiiiiii have been SUCH crap at updating lately, friends, and I apologise profusely. Honestly, I do. Part of it is being busy, and part of it is that life is not super interesting, and part of it is sheer laziness. I'll be honest. I have several things I should probably write about, but...you know. Living in the moment! Enjoying my time here! Not feeling the need to reflect on it!

The good news for you lot is that I have to write another letter for PC(USA) soon, so you'll at least get to read that when I get around to writing it. I believe I'll be writing about what's been happening here lately with the recent shootings and people's reactions to it. I went out and bought a dictaphone because people have been so much more willing to talk about their troubles stories from before.

This is mostly just to tell you that I am alive and well, then, and I haven't been neglecting you because I don't love you. Rather, Jonathan is home for Easter, and Jessye's coming to visit soon, and the weather has been beautiful lately, so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can. It's hit me how soon I have to leave, and I think that's probably at least part of why I haven't been writing as much. Street Reach Lisburn is coming up soon—it's a programme that gets kids in the Lisburn area to help clean up and reach out to different communities in the area. John and I are area coordinators for the Lambeg area. Most of the young people are mixed up and assigned to random areas, but because of The Base's situation (and it not being a necessarily Christian programme), we tend to get to keep most of the Lambeg ones. I'm a little worried about numbers for our area, but John assures me that everyone who did it last year receives a new form in the post, so we don't have to worry about that. We'll see what happens, I suppose.

Parents and toddlers is off for two weeks for the Easter holidays, so that's nice. Means I get a bit of a lie-in on Wednesdays and Fridays. Drop-in is still on, I believe, though I don't know what we're doing for Good Friday. There's a church service that I'm apparently singing a solo for, so I'll probably not be around for drop-in that evening anyway. UGH that's in two days. I should probably practise some more.

Anyway, that's the briefest of updates for you all. Sorry it's not more, but my newsletter is on my list of things to do, so it SHOULD get done soon. Promise. :D

Right, my apologies for not updating for a while, but honestly, I've been rather busy and I could really be bothered. :P it's not that I haven't anything to write about—i do, in fact—but I figured with the killings in Antrim this past weekend, people might be worried, so I thought i'd jot down a little something.

For those of you who haven't heard: two British soldiers who were to be sent to Afghanistan from their station in County Antrim (here in Northern Ireland) went out to get a pizza their last night in town and were shot and killed by members of the Real IRA. Two days later, a policeman was shot and killed by, I believe, the same group.

There's been...well, actually, there hasn't been that much chat that I've heard so far, but it did come up in our staff meeting this morning. Mark made a comment yesterday to Ali (as we were painting the drop-in), asking whether or not A thought this was the restart of the Troubles. There are people who feel it could pan out that way. John, on the other hand, said that, having grown up at the end of the Troubles, it doesn't even phase him.

The conclusion everyone came to this morning was that, if there's a bomb threat, that could really restart things—we could be back to security checks when going into the stores in Belfast, they said.

This is sort of an intimidating idea, to say the least. I hadn't really thought about the killings this weekend—there's been a lot of personal tragedy for people at the church this week (Clarke's brother-in-law died in a can accident on Thursday; Lorraine, who runs Lisburn Sunday School was burgled on Friday; Heather's mum died on Saturday morning), so I've been more concentrated on that and trying to do what I can to help those people. Flame (our youth group) took the service on Sunday, so that timing worked out nicely, even if it was for a not so happy reason.

Anyway, the point is that I'm fine and no one I know has been directly affected by the killings (although we've all been affected indirectly, I'm sure). Just wanted to reassure you all. I realize this is not an incredibly thorough or insightful update, but i PROMISE I'll write more soon.in the mean time, there should be information up here within the next few days.

at parents and toddlers this morning, during snacktime--
one of the mums: "i don't think children ever really like sharing. i think it's just a reluctant acceptance."
me: [laughs] "i think it's that way for a lot of adults, too."

*************************

another mum a few minutes later: "i'm not dieting anymore because i binge whenever i do. i just eat whatever i want now. ...because, see, [my husband]'s happy when i'm happy, and i'm happy because i'm eating."

i kind of really love that sentiment.

*************************

i mentioned to jonathan and mark while chatting with the two of them online the other night that there was a moment over the weekend when i got upset with jonathan's younger brother. it was in the context of how cranky i get when i'm sleep-deprived, and that i was getting to a point where i wanted to rip someone's throat out with my teeth, and how i almost did it to thomas. i told them i didn't remember why, but i do--he made a rather homophobic comment that inspired the last entry i wrote.

anyway, mark has now decided that it's his job to tell EVERYONE that i wanted to beat up thomas. and i do mean everyone. part of it, i think, is that he's still excited about this weekend and wants to keep that camaraderie going. trouble is, he's doing it in a way that nerdy, socially-awkward gamers would do it. he brings up the same inside jokes over and over again, and it is starting to grate on my nerves.

*************************

a friend i've been making for a while must needs be introduced. sue is a single mother of three (the youngest of whom is 24), is roughly my dad's age, and is generally insane. "delightfully insane," jonathan referred to her as.

...what a horribly constructed sentence.

anyway, her eyes are cornflower blue, and, like most adults here, she looks younger than she actually is (although this is probably partly due to how much energy she has). she talks nonstop, and she (being the daughter AND granddaughter of a presbyterian minister) is the most liberal christian i have met since i've been here. like, her thoughts on christianity pretty much match up to mine. it's so great. i am so thankful for her, and lately she's been having issues at work with the guy she's working with, and anyway. she came in tonight to have a quick dinner with me before drop-in--we split a tin of tomato soup and killed half a loaf of wheaten bread. she told me a few days ago that she has never been someone's best friend the way jessye is mine, and i told her that she was fast on her way (if she wasn't there already) to becoming my closest friend here. she didn't believe me--she thinks i'm closer to nicky than to her--but, damnit, it's true. and you know it must be, because i wrote it here.

there is such a weird gender dynamic here. not weird, i guess. just...not what i'm used to. more conservative, i suppose. the majority of males are at least slightly misogynistic, but they are chivalrous enough that i can't resent them entirely for it. homophobia runs rampant, to the point that i have had to hide myself from everyone to have a moment alone. i am that frustrated right now--i could cry, even. i hate it SO MUCH that i have friends who feel that way about some of the most important people in my life.

so let me just take this moment to say: no matter your age, gender, or level of homosexuality, friends, i love you so very much, and i am PROUD to have you in my life.

this weekend, i'm on a retreat with the youth group ones (plus Clarke, Mark, and Nicky) (oh, and Clarke's oldest two [Rachel and Stewart], over from uni). We're staying at a castle cum conference center where each hallway has its own smell, and very few of them are pleasant--the hallway outside our rooms, for example, smells of cat litter, and the hallway in the basement smells of pickled onion crisps, or so the young people tell me. There's a love fireplace area upstairs, but we seem to mostly be sticking to the basement lounge. This is good because it's more secluded, and therefore quieter for everyone else staying here, but it's not as nice an area. Probably just as well.

of course we left late to get here last night. originally, Clarke told everyone that we'd leave the church at 6 (to be at the castle by 7), but then last sunday, Clarke told everyone to meet at church at 7, which meant we didn't actually leave until about 7.45. of course. whatever. we got in and had some hot dogs (i had three, having forgotten dinner) and chatted about what we'd be doing this weekend, and then we went on a midnight walk around the lake. i've been assured it's beautiful, but as it was dark and foggy, I really couldn't say. i'm sure i'll get some pictures of it this afternoon. we got lost, which everyone is blaming on Nicky. i'm not sure it was actually his fault, but don't tell him i said that. it was actually really nice, despite it being muddy and our taking the wrong path. it's surprisingly warm for this time of year. i started out walking with Bethany (my favorite of the youth group ones) and Sarah (Nicky's sister), but i sort of floated among groups and chatted with everyone. we were out for an hour and a half total, walking the whole time.

after we got back, we had some tea and buns and had planned to have a snooker tournament, but the games room was locked, so most people went back to the boys' room. Nicky wanted to go up by the fireplace, but Clarke thought that would be too loud. Nicky and two of the girls and i sat and chatted for a while downstairs instead--we tried to order chinese, but none of the takeaways in town deliver, and we didn't have a way to get to town (actually, Nicky wanted to walk, but the rest of us couldn't be bothered). about 7 others came to find us after a bit, and we faffed about for a good while--they made several human pyramids and other such stunts while i documented. around 2.45, i gave up and went to bed, which was crap, mostly due to the pillow. it seemed to be made of concrete.

we had breakfast this morning (i tried weetabix for the first time!), and then our guest speaker did a session with us. about Jesus, funnily enough. It was an interesting bit, and while i did like the points he was making...okay. here's the thing i don't like about christianity: there is such an emphasis on heaven and what G-d wants us to do and it's how you'll get into heaven.

my question is: why can't people just be that way of their own volition?

maybe that's expecting too much of people. maybe i believe that people are good at heart, and that's giving them too much credit, and they need someone or something to be good for. but, to me, if you live a good life, that's what matters. even sinning, especially if it's not hurting anyone, doesn't seem all that bad as long as you make the effort. i don't know. i think this is the main reason for my current...well, calling it a "crisis of faith" seems a bit much. it's not that i think G-d doesn't matter; it's just that i'd much rather help people and all because i know it's good, and not because someone else is telling me to do it.

ms. lamuth would be so proud. (i'm posting this because it's been a pretty standard week--more as things develop, i promise!)
*****
me: would you say i'm nice?
jonathan: Yes I would
me: really?!
me: i thought you, of all people, would be on my side with this.
jonathan: ?
me: i don't think i'm nice
me: i think i'm friendly and personable and sympathetic at times, but not nice
me: it wouldn't be one of the first words i used to describe myself
jonathan: So how's nice different?
me: i don't know; it just is.
jonathan: SO you've decided you're not nice?
me: you make that sound like it just came out of nowhere
me: see, i showed mark a picture of myself giving the middle finger to the camera, and he asked why.
me: so i said, "why not?"
me: "that's not very nice," said mark.
me: "well, i'm not nice," i responded.
me: but then he said i was, and misty agreed, and...i don't know.
me: i think of niceness as being a constant thing
jonathan: Would you say I'm nice?
me: no
me: and that's not a bad thing
jonathan: Okay.  So give the reasons that I'm not nice
me: you are considerate and generous and friendly.
me: i don't know, i guess i just think of niceness as being a sort of...complacency, maybe?
jonathan: Okay.  So I'm considerate, generous and friendly and that has nothing to do with being nice.  Complacency has to do with being nice, in your opinion.  How?
me: i suppose i view "nice" as being constantly pleasant and agreeable and eager to please.
me: to me, nice is all the time. never being unpleasant. it's boring, in my mind.
me: because, although you are considerate, generous, and friendly, you are not constantly any of those things.
me: you have your moments where you fight with thomas or tease me or lancer aliens.
me: that's not "nice," you know?
me: there is a submissiveness to niceness, in my understanding of the word.
jonathan: So you have to be constantly considerate, generous and friendly to be nice?
jonathan: THere's no such thing as being temporarily nice?
me: you have to be constantly considerate of others.
jonathan: You can't be nice in some situations but not others
jonathan: ?
me: i mean, something i do can be nice, say.
me: opening the door for someone is nice
me: but that doesn't necessarily make me a nice person.
me: then again, you guys refer to food as "nice" over here, so maybe i'm having this conversation with the wrong person.
jonathan: Again, you can't possibly be temorarily nice?
jonathan: *temporarily
jonathan: Or nice in some situations only?
me: i mean, if you did a random act of kindness, i would say, "that was really nice of you."
me: i would not say, "you're a really nice person."
jonathan: I'm not referring to random acts.  I'm referring to near-constant ones.
me: by my understanding/use of the word, no.
me: i would use a different word.
me: maybe that's it, though. because nice is such a non-descript word.
me: i wouldn't use it ever.
jonathan: Then assume they're using a different word
me: if i were ever to use the word nice, it would have to be to describe someone that didn't have a more outstanding attribute.
jonathan: Was that the problem with Mark calling you nice?
me: no
me: it wasn't a problem, persay
me: i just...i don't know, i don't think i'm nice.
me: i don't think i'm downright mean, either. i just wouldn't ever think of myself as a nice person.
me: so it's sort of strange to think that someone else would think that.
jonathan: So what's stopping you qualifying as being nice?
me: the way i interact with people, i suppose.
me: i tease and joke and am sort of...mean in an affectionate way. and i wouldn't say that's nice.
me: friendly, perhaps, but not nice.
jonathan: Currently you'r interacting with people by volunteering in many different activities, helping look after other peoples' kids, doing work for the Church, and so on
jonathan: Is that not nice?
me: no?
me: i don't know, i wouldn't say it was nice.
jonathan: Why not?
me: firstly because, in this context, i would feel really egotistical saying that.
me: :-P
me: like i said, i wouldn't use that word with any real frequency.
jonathan:
It doesn't matter how egotistical you feel or how often you use the word,  It was Mark speaking. :-P 
me: i suppose that's mark's prerogative, then.
me: well.
me: that settled nothing.
me: but it killed some time
jonathan: It settled that it's Mark's perogative. :-P
me: i will prerogative you in the face.

John is thin with brown hair and brown eyes and lots of eyelashes His nose is beak-like; his mouth is small. He has nice hands, save for the first two fingers on his right hand: he chews on these constantly, so that the nails and cuticles are reduced to pulp. He cannot stand silence; loves airplanes and his daughter; hates spiders, mayonnaise, and public speaking. He laughs easily and insists that he's been sick with the flu since October and is the least judgmental non-drinker I've ever met.

David is 55 or so, I would estimate. His hair and beard are grey and his oval face has begun to round out. He is quiet when he can be, but jovial and talkative when working. His smile makes his eyes crinkle at the corners. He snores like a freight train when he falls asleep the couch on a Sunday afternoon. I find it difficult to imagine what he must have looked like when he was younger. His hands remind me of my dad's.

Heather is thin and looks young for her age. She wears full, coordinated outfits to church where she sits in the choir and does not socialize much after service. She has more energy than I could imagine having; she cooks relatively healthfully when she makes full meals for guests. Her hair is short and brown; her eyes, too, are brown, and she wears glasses, and sometimes she looks like my mother would if she were completely different.

Clarke is 50 years old and acts like he's 15. He also has the worst memory ever—he is in dire need of a personal assistant, just so he has someone to follow him around and transcribe his conversations. He is on the shorter side and is balding, but in a pleasant way. His eyes are small and very blue; his inside of his bottom lip is shaped like a curved bracket. He used to be a farmer, and though I can imagine him in overalls, I find the picture amusing.

Ali, too, is balding, and what remains of his hair is salt and peppered. He is easygoing and drinks a lot of coffee and acts much younger than his age (which I would guess is in the mid-30's). He is the perfect youth worker—confident and down-to-earth and experienced. He loves music and going to the cinema and he really likes to play the “do you know this song?!” game with me. He seems oblivious sometimes and laughs easily always, but if you get him started talking, you find him to be incredibly insightful and a wonderful conversationalist.

Mark swears he's not ginger, but he's clearly mistaken—his auburn facial hair is currently trimmed into a thin mustache and goatee. He is always wearing a Gears of War hoodie and usually wears a Nickelback baseball cap. He's taller than I am and has a solid build; I was surprised by his strength the one time I hugged him. If he isn't playing video games, he is probably talking about them. For a gamer, however, he is incredibly sensitive and chivalrous, and has offered to walk me home (a 30 minute walk) after dark on more than one occasion.

Nicky is only just taller than I am; he is thinner than you might think by looking at him because he wears clothing that is much too large for him, including a shapeless black leather jacket. His dirty blond hair used to be shoulder length and wavy, but a month or so ago, he had his sister cut it much shorter. He is chatty and amusing and gregarious; he tells me about physics and math principles just because he finds them interesting and he wants to share them with someone. He is very good at playing with hair.

Jonathan is about six feet tall and skinny. He has black hair and blue eyes and a mostly English accent. He slags me off almost constantly for being American—the way I say things, the way I spell things, my apparent lack of intelligence, etc. His smile is contagious and his generosity is abundant. For Christmas, he bought me a remote jammer, “to encourage my sadistic side.” When he hugs you, he closes his eyes and holds you as though he means it, and he is one probably the most insightful 18 year-old I have ever met.

well, i guess monday was kind of a crap day for Jonathan because he found out his good friend got kicked out of uni and won't be there when he gets back. so, you know. boo. he seemed kind of sad, and Mark, in his nerdy way, managed to make the whole thing about the fact that there's no longer an xbox in the flat, but that might have been good for Jonathan. what do i know. they're sort of adorable together, those two. but more on that later.

tuesday i walked to work for our staff meeting--Clarke had offered me a lift, but i'd refused because i really need to start walking to and from work every day. all the weight i lost before christmas has managed to come back, due to the abundance of restaurant food eaten while the fam was here. so staff meeting and lunch at my norn irish granny's, and then the boys were down playing video games, and i think that might actually have been most of tuesday. got work done, of course, and Clarke stopped in to set up a meeting between the two of us and Nicky to talk about youth group stuff. he offered me a lift home, but i, once more, said nay and walked back to the flat. i didn't end up going out to the pub that night, despite the fact that the Kevin and Jessica would be there, because i really wasn't in a pub sort of mood, so i stayed home and read instead.

wednesday was parents and toddlers (of course)--Jonathan and Mark both showed up to help, by which i mean they set up the toys and all, and then sat and spoke nerd while i talked to the parents and made faces at the toddlers. Jonathan is very insistent that i come with them when they go places. i was asking them to go to the shop across the road before p&t started to get food, and Jonathan asked if i was coming with them. later that day, they walked up the road to Mark's so he could get his work top, and he asked if i was coming with them. they got ready to leave on wednesday--Mark to work; Jonathan to his house--and he asked if i was coming with them. i'm not entirely sure what to make of that, but i can't say that i mind it too much. nice to be included and all that.

ANNNNYWAY, wednesday after p&t, the three of us went down to the old abandoned something so i could take pictures, and they mocked me thoroughly for the pictures i took (they're on facebook now, btw, if you're interested, along with a few pictures of the boys themselves). we then walked along the towpath around the back of the factory and along the lagan river. then up the hill past a graveyard. then up to the castle gardens. then back to the church, where we all got subway and ate because that's a lot of walking. they both had chicken tikka; i had the veggie patty. i was wearing inappropriate shoes for the walk, but they held up pretty well to the almost-mud. they played games until drop-in, after which we walked up to Mark's house (as previously mentioned). Jonathan and i stood outside the house as Mark went in. there was silence for a moment, and we stood close together, facing away from the house.
me: "is he driving you insane?"
Jonathan: "no more than usual. you?"
me: "not really."
Jonathan: "that means yes."
silence again, before--
me: "i know i told you guys not to geek out, but i really don't mind it."
Jonathan: "the fact that you're bringing it up would suggest otherwise."
me: "no, really. i don't mind. i like to listen to friends talk. it was like i got to eavesdrop all afternoon. you guys are sort of adorable."
Jonathan: "okay...."
me: "you don't believe me, do you?"
Jonathan: "to an extent i do."
me: "to what extent?"
Jonathan: "what, you want a percentage? because you're not getting one."

i rode my bike home--Jonathan waited for me to gather my belongings and wheel my bike out of the drop-in before he and Mark set off down the road. they caught up with me at the light and pressed the walk button to try to make the light red for me. "too late," i told them as the light turned green and i rode off.

there were only two boys into the drop-in on wednesday night, plus one of our regular older ones. i talked to him about my pseudo-vegetarianism while the younger two played football in the hall. it was nice to see the one getting along so well with someone else--i adore him, but the other boys his age tend not to include him as much. it always makes me happy to see him getting along with or being stuck up for by someone else.

on thursday, John and i went to a youth workers' coffee morning, which was really a prayer meeting with snacks, and it was kind of amazing.  the one guy who prayed who was leading the meeting delivered his prayer so effectively--the rise and fall and the volume of his voice made my heart swell. it was incredibly moving, and i was really glad i got to experience that. afterward, John and i went to a book store so he could look for a year planner, only they didn't have one. i, meanwhile, got carried away looking at all the pretty books (like i do), and so when John went to two other places to look for calendars, i didn't even realize it. i finally texted him to see where he was, and he told me that he was at the car. thus, i was abandoned at eason's.

when we got back, Mark came and his friend Matthew showed up not long after. this guy is studying at belfast bible college, and he's very friendly and tall and cute and i was having a lovely time flirting with him. i've met him before, and he's always been very talkative, but he stuck around for drop-in this time and we sat in the hall and talked while the boys played football, and he's really cool as well as a nerdy gamer. after drop-in, Mark and Ali had to walk into lisburn, and Jonathan was getting ready to walk home (which is the same general direction) so, once more, Jonathan asked if i was coming. we walked and talked about movies, and Mark always managed to bring the conversation back to video games, but it was very nice nonetheless. Jonathan passed his house, so he had to backtrack a bit, and i walked with him back to the church.

today, the boys both came to help with p&t again, only this time they'd brought their psps, so they paid even less attention to me. Mark and i mentioned our love of sweeney todd to Jonathan and had a brief sing-along. i actually got work done this afternoon, and then came home, had my tea, went back to drop-in for our evening session where Mark and Jonathan both showed up about an hour late (Mark was at work; Jonathanwas at home for dinner), and then stayed late to watch them play gears of war. i sat on the backwards couch next to Jonathan as he played, and he held his controller against the back of the sofa so i could feel the vibrations every time the rumble pack kicked in. he let me play for a minute, but i died quickly, and he took over again. when they'd finished, they both walked me home, and my newfound love for the game lent me more insight into the conversation so that the cold was forgotten and we'd reached my flat before i knew it.

england, i hear you say. what's all that then, eh?! well, it's a country. and i was there!

cue dream sequency music...

right, so we drove to warwick, and on the way there, we stopped by edinburgh for a few hours to tour and all. there's a huge castle smack in the middle of the city, so we walked around there and up the hill to the shops by the castle. my brother, of course, located the scotch whiskey experience store and had a lovely time there; my mom and i found little closes and sidestreets to wander down instead. we got lunch at a middle eastern restaurant before driving however many hours to warwick. what do i know; i slept for most of the car ride.

anyway, we got to warwick where my met my parents' friends at our hotel, got some dinner, etc. the next day, we went to warwick castle to walk around the grounds there. it was beautiful, albeit cold. we climbed 530 steps up to the towers and back down again, and there are pictures on facebook, blah blah blah. that night, we went into stratford to get dinner and do investigating for the next night--we had tickets to see romeo and juliet in stratford (although not at the globe because it's still under construction) for new year's eve, and we needed to find a place to get dinner after the show. which is just what we did--we found three contenders and picked one of them while we had dinner at an italian restaurant. on new year's eve day we went into oxford and spent the day there looking around where my mama went to uni! we even went to christ church which looks hella hogwarts-esque PLUS it's where they filmed the dining hall scenes for the hp movies. needless to say, i was in hp-nerd heaven.

the show itself was lovely--juliet was played like an actual 13 year-old, which i really appreciated. too often, i feel like those two are played to be all serious and romantic and all, and in reality, that relationship would never have lasted. okay, in the time period, it might have (if they'd actually been married), but that's only because divorce was unheard of. but in this version, they were played their actual ages, and i think that made a huge difference to the show. the costuming and visuals were good, too, but that's the kind of stuff only theater nerds want to hear about, and since the majority of those of you reading this are NOT theater nerds, i think i'll skip that bit. after the show, we went to a french restaurant for dinner, where we pulled christmas crackers at midnight. 'twas lovely, and a fine time was had by all.

the next day, we drove out to the lake district just because it was pretty. we were going to take a long walk, but that ended up falling through. the hotel where we stayed was commune-like--the food and meat they served at their adjacent restaurant is all raised by local farmers; the soap and shampoo in the rooms is made by local artisans. the scenery was lovely, and i kind of wish we had stayed at that hotel the entire time we'd been in england, but alas. so general sight-seeing ensued, and then back to cairnryan to catch the ferry.

thus ended the scotland/ireland leg. the friday we got back, my brother wanted me to throw him a going away party, but the only people who could make it were jonathan and mark, so we just had them over to watch tv and all. on saturday night, we took irene and irvine to dinner and the ulster orchestra concert, and then this morning they left. everyone at church was very sympathetic--"aww, you'll be missing them, will you?"--and i will be missing them, but it'll sort of be nice to get back to my normal routine.

My family got here on the 14^th, but that first week they were here, they mostly amused themselves. We took a bus tour of Belfast on monday the 15^th and did some shopping and ate and all, and tuesday I had to go in for our staff meeting, but then we all went to lunch at my norn irish granny's house, and then we hung out. Since I had to actually do work on wednesday, thursday, and friday, they got lost and let me get on with it while they did touristy things. Saturday I had an all day choir practice, and jonathan got home and stopped by the church to play video games with mark, so I got to see him, and then my brother came to the church and a group of us (after putting together orders of service) went to Clarke's house for the youth group christmas party, which was loads of fun. Sunday morning was the sunday school's carol service, which was hysterical (jonathan's youngest sister rebecca, who is 2, would use her hymn book every time they sang a song, despite the fact that a) the songs they sang were not in the hymnbook and b) she can't read); sunday evening was the real carol service, and I had a duet, blah blah blah. In between, we went to the Millars' house (cousins to Ed Dunlap; unsuspecting hosts to my parents) to have our tea, and then I went back to church early where jonathan met me to finish putting together orders of service. I was so sick of those things by the time they were finished, which was fine because it meant I was less embarrassed when everyone discovered that the end of the third verse of “silent night” was wrong. Oops.

Monday, we had a meeting with the site coordinator, and then my family brought lunch in and then we drove up north to stay at david's house for a few days. The drive was lovely—up the antrim coast—and then we got to their house where my dad realized he'd left the key to the house back in belfast. An hour and a half away. So the Millars, like the generous people that they are, met my parents halfway to give them the key. Meanwhile, my brother and I took a walk and had a drink (on my dad) and figured out where we would have our dinner.

On tuesday, we went to the giant's causeway, which is just beautiful. There are pictures of that adventure posted on my facebook if you'd like to have a look at them. Just breath-taking, and we had a nice walk around the mountain, which was also great.

We came back on wednesday in time for the volunteer christmas party where there was really good mulled wine and a chocolate fountain. It was nice to see everyone—i hadn't seen kevin and jessica in quite a while, and they told me that they'd missed me which was extra lovely. After the party, we attempted to shop for new church clothes at M&S, only they were closed, so I bought something in five minutes at sainsbury's because I am just that good at shopping. Then my parents took us back to my flat where we watched love, actually (and my brother took a nap), and waited for 11.30 to roll around, at which point we hopped over to church for the midnight communion service. It was actually a really nice way to bring in christmas. We sat in a row with some of the girls from youth group, and also nicky and his sister. nicky referred to it as the “rowdy row” when he saw it. jonathan, on the other hand, look horrible—haggard and sleep-deprived, and I felt really bad for him. I wanted to hug him, but I also didn't want to catch whatever he has. he'd had a flu for the few days before and hadn't been able to sleep very well. :(

On christmas, we got up and went to church again. The kids all brought christmas toys in with them, so it was a very casual service. Afterwards, we went to the Millars' house—we went for a walk around the giant's ring (I think my brother has pictures on facebook, but I didn't get any), and then went back to the house for christmas dinner—turkey, roast potatoes, carrots and parnips, sprouts, and the best stuffing I have ever had which, sadly, was not vegetarian. Sausage, brandy, apricots, and smoked bacon went into this stuffing. It was insanely decadent. Christmas pudding for dessert, and then after dinner drinks and tv watching and general semi-comas. Just lovely. Wallace and gromit was on tv, so I made everyone watch that, and then my dad took my brother and me back to the flat where I called several people on skype to wish them a happy christmas.

On Friday, jonathan and I made plans to meet up just so I could see him at SOME point while he's home. My original plan was to take a walk/pictures—there's an old, abandoned something close to where he lives—but he looked so horrible, we opted to play video games at the base instead. It wasn't bad, but it would have been a lot nicer if he'd been well, as I kept telling him. He had to go home for lunch at 1.00, so I stayed and hung out at the drop-in for a bit, and got sucked into a movie (which I later found out was it's a mad mad mad mad world). Toward the end of the movie, mark and his friend showed up, so I chatted with them for a bit before walking home. My dad picked me up, and we went to the hosts' house for our tea, and then my brother and I went back to the flat and packed, and nicky came over with a movie (there will be blood). I hadn't seen the film before—it was very good—and we stayed up until about 12.30 to watch it, which meant we were exhausted the next day.

On Saturday morning, we (the fam) took the ferry from larne (northern ireland) (according to nicky, the armpit of ulster) to cairnryan (scotland), and then drove to my dad's cousin's house in glenrothes, which is where I sit currently. They fed us our tea and told us about their children, and my brother and I went to bed insanely early because we'd been up so late the night before. My dad's cousin (ralph) is a musician who used to teach and is now retired. He's 74 and looks about 55 or 60; he plays the piano sporadically throughout conversation. He's really into talking about our family history with my dad, but I think my dad loves it because his father never used to talk about any of that with them. His wife, gitte, is from Denmark originally, and she's a great cook and a lovely woman and they're still very sweet together. They have three children, two of whom (tom and andrew) are musicians and one of whom (anna) is a jewellry designer, and from what I can tell, they are all amazingly talented. Anna has a website here; her stuff is incredible, and we spent quite a bit between the four of us today when we met her. The fact that this family is so cool—i mean, my dad's cousin's house is full of books and cd's and sheet music and art—i don't know, it's pretty great. My friend Lance, Barb Sahr's cousin, once mentioned how great he thinks Barb is, and how before meeting her, he had no idea any of his family was like that, and that's how I feel today. Sort of really lucky.

tomorrow we head south for england and shakespeare and my mom's friend anne. more later!

what up, friend-types. sorry it's been a while since i've updated, but i've been busy and all.

anyway, i think the rest of last week was pretty normal. friday, during drop-in, nicky was texting me--saturday was our christmas fair, and he was wondering what time i was going on saturday morning. anyway, megan was in oxford for the weekend, so i invited him over after drop-in was over. he walked because he's crazy, but sue (one of the base volunteers) took me to the chinese take-away across the street from my flat, so she and i sat and talked for a while, waiting for nicky to show. after a while, though, we decided to drive down the road to try to find him. he'd been jogging to try to make good time, having left slightly after he'd told me he left. anyway, he came over, and we chatted and watched tv and it was fantastic.

in the morning, he and i got a lift to the church from louise, who lives in the next block of flats. nicky and i worked at the youth fellowship group's stall, selling cookies and buns for people to decorate. after the fair was over (and we'd had some soup for lunch, courtesy of the lovely ladies in the kitchen), nicky, mark, and i walked into lisburn to go shopping. mostly, i was window shopping, looking for stuff for the parents and toddlers group christmas party (which is tomorrow). the boys and i stopped by the library and they took me to the linen centre and we went out to dinner afterward. it was a really nice evening. after dinner, mark had to go to work at another drop-in centre, so nicky and i walked back to lambeg to his parents' house and watched aeonflux when we got back to his house, and, after realizing that he needed his violin for church the following day, he and his sister took the train into belfast.

sunday was pretty usual, although we had our special ed sunday school's carol service, which was great. a couple of the kids didn't show (including one of the wisemen), but the rest of them made up for it. i was wiped out afterwards, and so neither heather nor david said a word when i fell asleep on their couch and missed the evening service.

monday, all the volunteers and the site coordinator went to stormont, which is where the governmental bodies meet in belfast. it was very pretty, and nicky's dad was in a painting there because he happens to be a lord. he also happens to have won the nobel peace prize a few years back. but i don't like to name-drop. anyway, after we went to stormont, we went back to doug's for lunch with him and his wife elaine, and that was nice, and the soup was really good (pea soup with curry in it, mmm), and we had a nice enough time. he and elaine gave us boxes of christmas decorations to decorate our flats with. i went shopping afterwards with jessica and got plates and cups and things for the p&t christmas party, but then i got a wicked headache (thanks, weather!), so i let megan take care of the decorating when we got back.

not too much has happened, other than that. i FINALLY got to go out to the pub again on tuesday night with the boys and nicky. we had a nice time and i didn't miss my bus this time, and i gave nicky a hard time for not hugging me (but hugging both the boys AND a perfect stranger in the park on saturday). nicky bought a round, but other than that, no one had to pay for drinks because alex got a monetary gift from one of the guys at his church, so that was pretty fantastic.

three days until the fam gets here and eight until jonathan comes home from uni, and i'm so excited to see all of them. now i just have a christmas party  to run, a grad school essay to write, and an entire flat to clean before sunday.

yikes.

WELL FRIENDS HELLO.

i am flipping knackered as it has been a surprisingly busy week. especially considering they don't celebrate thanksgiving here.

right. that's point #1: they do NOT celebrate thanksgiving here. and why would they? you'll remember we had a harvest thanksgiving service back in october, but that's about all they've got. instead, they're super into christmas, which is all right, i suppose. i tend to get a little scrooge-y around christmas, but i'm too busy to be scrooge-y this year. that's what i get for working in a church.

anyway, despite the fact that the northern irish don't celebrate thanksgiving, i had TWO thanksgiving dinners last week, and it was magnificent. on thursday, people from hannah's church threw us a thanksgiving dinner with a northern irish twist because they didn't know how to do thanksgiving. it was actually pretty nice. they did turkey breast instead of a whole turkey, and they made pumpkin soup as a starter, and we had champ (mash with milk, butter, and green onion) instead of mashed potatoes, but other than that, it was pretty standard. they even attempted a green bean casserole, which we don't usually have (and i'm not usually a huge fan of), but they made it with fresh green beans and caramelized onions, and, needless to say, it was delicious. i'm making myself hungry.

i skyped my dad (who was at my aunt's) after i got home. he had set up his laptop at the head of the table, so that was a little intimidating, but i was as charming as ever. my favorite cousin was there with his new fiancee, and she seems really sweet, and she's working on getting the degree that i'll be getting, so that's pretty cool. he wants me to try to come back for their wedding (july 3rd), but i'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. he said if i couldn't, i owed them a visit anyway, which i will be more than pleased to do.

on friday, as i was sitting in the office with Ali, waiting for drop-in time to roll around, i heard people at the door downstairs. i looked out the window and saw a few of the second year boys standing outside the locked door, trying to get in.
"we don't open until eight," i yelled down at them. "come back then."
they all looked confused. "what time is it now?" one of them asked.
"7.15. come back at eight."
"oh, come on!" they whined. "it's cold out here! let us in now!"
"come back at eight," i told them and shut the window.
at 7.59, they were at the door again, knocking. there were millions of them, it seemed, swarming over every inch of the center. even Ali, who always tries to socialize with the young people, came over to stand by and talk to me. they kept asking if they could go up to the hall to play football, but the scouts were in there. "we'll go at 9, when they're done," Ali told them, but the boys kept running up to see if the scouts had left, and a few of the older boys were teasing the scouts so that their leader would yell at the boys from the drop-in.

finally, at 9.00, Ali took them upstairs. i was downstairs with some of the senior members, working on folding christmas cards (for fund-raising purposes), and was therefore rather surprised when a good number of the boys came back into the drop-in. they were followed by the rest of the boys who had gone up, and then Ali.
"right," said Ali, "everybody out."
"everybody?" said one of the younger ones. he had been sitting calmly, playing video games while the rest of them had gone up.
"everybody," said Ali definitively. it was as close as i have ever seen him to being upset. "some people couldn't follow instructions, so now everybody has to leave. yous can come back next week, but you're out for now."
i found out later that the scouts hadn't finished using the hall at nine, and when Ali realized this and asked the boys to come back downstairs, half of them went jumping around on the stage, went backstage, went out into the hallway to bother the scouts some more.
"i feel like i made the wrong decision," Ali told me later. "like, i've got some stuff going on in my personal life that might have influenced that. but once i'd made up my mind, i had to go through with it."
"you absolutely made the right decision," we all assured him, but i'm not sure he ever believed us.

saturday, megan and i were meant to go up to giant's causeway with someone from my church, but that fell through for various reasons. namely, i couldn't remember what time she wanted to leave and she never returned my calls. so, instead, i sat around the house until it was tie for thanksgiving dinner numero dos at the site coordinator's house. all the volunteers came out and it was just lovely. all cozy and familiar, and afterward we played pictionary which my team lost spectacularly at, due in part to our general apathy.

blame it on the tryptophan.

sunday was sunday, which means it was insane. monday i had off, but elizabeth and i went to clarke's new house to cook all day. i made a banoffee pie and sugar cookies for the youth group to sell at our christmas fair this weekend and buckeyes for the drop-in to sell at the fair. i also had a panic attack for a moment because i thought i'd killed my computer by splashing water on it, but it turns out all it needed was a quick blast with the hair dryer. it also turns out that i'm better at faking my way through recipes than i thought i was. who knew?!

anyway, that's about it. like i said: very busy. i think i'll have a little break now before drop-in.

last night, at youth group, we had a guy come in to talk to the kids. he is from iraq, but is a christian himself. now, personally, i was under the impression that he was going to talk about nation of islam. maybe educate the kids on the muslim faith. but instead he talked about the persecution of christian people in iraq by muslim extremists. now, that is certainly an important topic for the kids to find out about and to pray about and to try to help with, but...i don't know, i think it would have been more useful for the kids to hear about the islamic faith in general, not just about the extremist group that is a minority. to be fair, he clarified this--he pointed out that al qaeda was a minority, but still. we're trying to teach the young people about other faiths, not scare them away.

i don't know. sort of irritated me at the time, but clarke said that maybe we could have him back to talk about nation of islam some other time.

anyway, on a happier note, let's talk about accents! people often tell me--my mother included--that they want to hear my accent. actually, what my mother says (every time she talks to me) is, "where's your accent?" to which i must reply that i don't have one yet, you impatient jerks.

no, but seriously, give me time, people. my inflection is changing by the day; the vocabulary i use is slowly matching up to that of the locals. megan even told me today that she thinks my accent is coming along more than hers is, which is funny because i TOTALLY didn't think so. i mean, she says, "to-MAH-to," and that's silly. but i started noticing it tonight after she told me that. every so often, i say a word and it feels different--rounder, somehow, and sitting more toward the front of my mouth.

my point is, it'll get there. and maybe you should all quit being so demanding.

i've heard back from the guy, and my newsletter should be going up some time today, so there you go.

i have lots of lovely pictures from the retreat that are up on facebook if you'd like to see them, and if we're not facebook friends, too bad. no, just kidding. i'll see what i can do about putting them up here, as well.

last wednesday night, we had the leg waxing, which you have, of course, read about already. i won't go into more deatil about that, but now i really want to do a photography exhibit of people having their legs waxed. it would be awesome, because people make some great faces when they're in pain.

thursday was pretty regular, but friday was busy. we had more fund-raising stuff going on--shaving David's beard off, for example--so it was a little hectic. we had, like, a thousand young people show up that i've never seen before, and, OF COURSE, John wasn't in, so it was chaos, but a nice kind. i gave manicures and Sue, another volunteer, didn't speak for an hour and a lovely time was had by all. also on friday night, Megan's church had an all night prayer whosit, so the Kevin and Jessica and i, being the best friends EVER, opted to take the 2 am to 7 am shift. FIVE HOURS OF PRAYER, SUCKERS. we took turns, though, so it was cool. plus, Jess took a really long time at her turn. we had some good conversations going while it wasn't our turn to pray, which was really great. Kevin and i talked about religion; Jessica and i talked about social sex roles and relationships. Megan was at home sleeping because she had to pray all day saturday. silly girl. after praying for several hours, i took the bus down to the drop-in because Mark had been sitting there playing x-box for twelve hours as his fund-raiser. finally got back to the flat around 9.45 am, where i took a shower and fell asleep until 4.30 pm or so. then i got up, ate my weight in whatever we had in the house, knitted, watched tv, and went back to bed for another 8.5 hours. and when i woke up, i had this cold.

it's actually not so bad, this cold. i'm not all that congested or sneezy or anything. it's just that my throat is sore, so i sound really great, and my ears kind of itch. as in, i used a q-tip yesterday morning, and it felt AMAZING. if i were a dog, my leg would have been thumping.

so sunday was sunday, and monday through wednesday, i was at this retreat in fermanagh. the place we stayed is on an estate owned by the national trust, and it was just beautiful. i took about 130 pictures in two and a half days. other than taking a two and a half hour walk on tuesday, we didn't really do much the whole time--just hung out, ate, watched movies, read, played games, and enjoyed each others' company. there was a fireplace and all. just magnificent. and then, when we came home, the flatmate set up our broadband box, which means that i now have internet in the flat! hoorah! now i can call people whenever i want to! and not just around noon!

needless to say that, since i've been back, i've been in a great but not very hard-working mood. that's all right, though, because John's out of the office today, so i can pretty much do whatever i please. which is work very hard, obviously. especially since Doug reads this blog. (hi, Doug! i'm working hard, i promise!)

(ha! fooled him!)

further (actual) update is forthcoming tomorrow or so, but for now, here's this--my first newsletter that should be going up on the yav website soon. i'll let you guys know when i know more, but for now, this is all you get.
*****

Two seventeen year old boys sit next to each other on bar stools at The Base drop-in center, their feet propped up on the table in front of them. Ryan is round-faced and dark-haired and personable; he works at the Subway across the street, and I don't think he has missed one drop-in since I've been here. Damian is thinner than Ryan--he sports a partially bleached faux hawk, a pierced eyebrow, and a contagious smile. Knees bent, their legs parallel, their pant legs pulled up to the middle of their respective thighs, they look at the table in front of them, unsuccessfully trying to mask their unease.

“Right,” says Ryan, “whose fecking idea was this?”

It could have been his, or it could have been Damian's, but never mind: it is too late for either of them to turn back. Ryan's best friend Beth stands in front of him, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail and her bangs falling in her eyes as she sets herself to the task at hand. She is a member of the Presbyterian church where I am working; he was introduced to me as one of the most Irish people I would ever meet.

Damian is new to The Base, so I don't know much about him yet, but I do know that I respect him for what he is about to do.

Ryan starts to make apprehensive noises as Beth picks up the jar in front of her. “Ach, don't be such a girl,” she tells him. With a curved wooden stick, she expertly begins to smooth wax onto Ryan's shin in the direction of the hair growth, as the instructions explicitly state. Damian watches, straight-faced but clutching the edge of his seat. Beth lays a strip of cloth onto Ryan's leg as John Blair (area coordinator) moves into position with his video camera.

“Ready?” John asks. Beth is focused, serious; Ryan bites the collar of his shirt, his round eyes watching Beth's fingers intently as they grip the bottom edge of the cloth; Damian, unable to even look, crosses his arms in front of his face so that they obscure his view. The on-lookers count down from three, and immediately after “one,” Beth tears the strip from Ryan's leg, leaving a barren rectangle in the middle of his hairy shin.

“Pudsey!” Ryan shouts, his eyes watering, his face frozen in a grimace. Everyone laughs but Beth--she is already smoothing wax onto his leg for the next strip.

Ryan and Damian are not just incredibly masochistic teenagers. Rather, they have been sponsored by people in the Lambeg area to wax their legs in order to raise money for a charity called Children in Need, and Pudsey the teddy bear is the mascot for this charity—hence Ryan's self-edited cry of distress. The British Broadcasting Company's Children in Need charity raises money every year to support disadvantaged children in the United Kingdom—this includes children who may have experienced mental, physical or sensory disabilities; have behavioral or psychological disorders; are living in poverty or situations of deprivation; or are suffering through distress, abuse or neglect. Once a year, the BBC hosts an appeal show that's televised across the UK, which serves to remind people about the charity and, as a result, create a lot more revenue.

It took me a day or two to understand that these young people at The Base aren't being rewarded for their efforts. It's not as though the person who raises the most money gets a prize. Rather, these boys—these seventeen year old boys who aren't exactly disadvantaged, but who are at least somewhat affected by the economic recession—are going this far to raise money to help other people just because they know they should.

Even Ali, an unpaid volunteer at The Base, got in on the action. The young people who were present offered him £35 in order to have a square of his head waxed-- “As long as I can do the waxing,” said one boy. “I can't say no to that,” I overheard Ali say to another volunteer. “It's for charity.”

Afterwards, Ali didn't speak for the rest of the evening. Instead, he stood behind the counter at the snack shop, using a refrigerated can of Coke to sooth his burning scalp.

Ryan yelps as Beth tears another strip from his ankle, pieces of wax still clinging to his leg hair.
“I hate you,” he tells her, but it is the pain talking.
“He thinks this is bad,” Beth says to no one in particular, “wait until I get to his thighs.”
“Pudsey,” Ryan says, and Damian's eyes widen as a girl named Anya starts to spread wax onto his leg.

Just another Wednesday night at the drop-in.

off to fermanagh with doug and the other volunteers until wednesday, where i may or may not have internet. point is, if you don't hear from me, it doesn't mean that i've died. i'm just away!

so, lately, david's been having me do the announcements for the sunday service. not really do them. i just make any changes from the week before and then send them to the woman who ACTUALLY does the announcements. anway, he makes me come up with the thought for the week each week, and because i can't come up with anything on my own, i usually just quote a poem. which means that i've been reading alot of poetry lately. plus,the last podcast i listened to of to the best of our knowledge was about poetry, so now i'm in the mood to write with NO INSPIRATION. ugh.

anyway. yesterday mark brought guitar hero in during the drop-in slot to which no one comes, so he and i spent an hour and a half playing that. i want him to bring it back again. after that, i got to talk to jonathan on skype for the first time in i don't know how long. he's FINALLY mailing his response to the letter i sent him three and a half weeks ago. SHAMEFUL.

after that, these people from an art studio (who teach different types of classes and all) stopped by the drop-in to talk to some of the young people about the memorial they want to make for their friend who died. we actually had a really good turn out (which we were all very pleased about), and afterwards, i got to talk to two girls i really like who used to come down on a friday but haven't in a while. they made fun of the way i say things, and that made me remember why i hadn't missed them. jk.

monday, i wrote some letters, then headed over to alex and joel's. they both had stuff in the evening, so when they left, i went to find jessica and kevin. we didn't really do much, any of us, but that's what i was in the mood for, so i'm not complaining. except, at the boys' (where there is wireless!!!) i got to skype with misty and noah, which was great not only because i hadn't had a chance to videochat with noah yet, but also because they have a new band, and i got to hear a few of their songs, and maybe i almost cried a little shut up.

sunday, we had our remembrance day service to honor all the people who died in battle. the church was decorated with poppies, and everyone wore a poppy on their lapel, and it was very moving. like always, you can find a podcast on their website. on saturday we went to a peace-making conference which was very interesting. mostly because it meant we got to hear someone other than doug talk about peace-building in northern ireland, which was a nice change. i got to ask a question of the panel, which was kind of exciting i suppose, but it's not like i made a presentation or anything. john, on the other hand, did. he was one of the people who talked about efforts being made for peace-building, and i thought he was very good even if his powerpoint didn't work, which wasn't really his fault anyway. then i went to the hannah and elizabeth's flat and had indian take-away .

thursday and friday were pretty standard, except any time someone asked me about obama, i just grinned like an idiot. like you do. and now i'm hungry, so maybe i'll go eat my lunch and think of something to write about. and if you lot want to try to inspire me, that's cool, too.

last night, i went out to the pub with alex and joel. we went to this place called the john hewitt, which, aside from being a great bar with live music, generates funds (through its sales) for the belfast unemployed resource centre. a little pricey, but it's not like the money isn't going somewhere worthwhile. i invited nicky along--he helps out with the youth fellowship group at church, and he's pretty awesome, and he got along very well with the boys. and his dad is this guy.

anyway, we had a generally lovely time drinking and thinking of word differences between here and the states and NOT talking about politics because i was too nervous about the election, and i forbid anyone from even bringing it up. the boys left around 10.00 or 10.15, and at about 10.50, i told nicky we should get going so i could make my 11.01 bus. only, just as we rounded the corner, the bus pulled away from the stop. and that was the last bus for the night. nicky called his friend to see what time the last train left (11.10--no way i was getting to the train station in time), and then called another friend who lives on my end of town to see what time he'd be heading back (1.30 or 2.00 am--no way i was staying out that late with parents and toddlers the next morning). the only option i had left was taking a taxi.

"if i walk with you toward your house," i asked nicky, "that's headed the general direction i want to be going, right?" he assured me that it was, so i started walking with him that direction. earlier in the evening, nicky had been texting clarke to try to get a meeting time for the three of us to work on stuff for youth group (and to assure me that, in fact, people over here do occasionally refer to the toilet as the bog), so it wasn't super surprising when clarke called nicky as we were walking.

"actually, she's right here with me," nicky told clarke, who was asking about having tea on friday as our meeting, "and she can come. listen, C, how's your driving capability at the moment?"
"no," i told nicky, "don't ask him that!"
"well," nicky continued, ignoring the hell out of me, "the last bus left at 11.01..." he went on to explain the entire situation, including the bit about his friend who was going to be around until 1.30 am. i, meanwhile, was blushing like mad, and make half-hearted protests that nicky was continually ignoring. finally he turned to me, clarke still on the phone.
"he says he'll consider it if you make him a big batch of buckeyes."
so nicky and i continued our walk to his house, where clarke picked me up and gave me a lift home because he is the nicest person ever.
"i feel bad," i'd told nicky after he'd hung up the phone.
"don't," said nicky. "i gave him an out at the beginning."
"but...he's so nice!" i protested.
"well, that's hardly your problem!"

i finally got home around 11.45 or so. megan had bbc one on, which was doing live coverage of the election. i watched mccain get kentucky and obama get vermont, and then i couldn't stand it anymore, so i went to bed, and it took me a little while to fall asleep.

at 4.20 this morning, my phone rings. i am forced to get out of bed because my phone is across the room. the caller is 'unknown,' and i just hit 'silence' and go back to bed. it rings again, once more from said 'unknown' caller, and i hit 'silence' and then 'busy.' then the phone beeps to tell me that i have a new voicemail. in the back of my mind, there is the fleeting thought that someone is calling from home (through skype) to report the results of the election. this thought is followed by a) it's only 11.20 at home, and there's NO WAY this thing has been settled already and b) even if it has been settled, mccain probably won and i don't want to hear that, because then i'll be too upset to fall asleep.

at 8.48, i awake because of the need to pee, which is great because i was meant to get up at 8.00 and i have no idea why my alarm didn't go off. i take my phone into the bathroom with me and listen to my voicemail while i wait for the shower to warm up. from the speaker comes my brother's voice, somewhat distant and tinny, but unmistakably his:

"rrrrrrrrembledore!"
jake langknecht: "obama won!"
"obama won, miss rembledore."
"he won."
"okay, it's your brother and it's four in the morning and i hope you woke up to hear this and then ignored me because i'm sad. but don't worry: we have a black president."
"happy birthday to me."
"so start the countdown till assassination. hopefully not, but start it--"
"fuck you, don't say that!"
"okay, i'm being optimistic."
other roommate: "we voted for a black president!"
"okay, bye. have a nice sleep. goodbye."

i promptly burst into tears.

thank you, america, for resorting my faith in you.

edit: david just took me out for a victory lunch, where we each had a glass of wine and toasted barack obama. how much do i love the people at this church.

All right, so, first of all, elizabeth needed a haircut today, so she and I went to the salon and she had her hair cut by this girl leah, who is my friend misty's doppelganger.

Would that I were exaggerating. remove this girl's facial piercings and grow out her hair a little, and they could be twins. She's from canada, and she needed a break from her real life (her words not mine), so she moved over here to live with one of her friends (who's at queens university) and cut hair (apparently). She was very cool, and the real misty would probably get along pretty well with her. I hope to see her again, possibly when she's cutting my hair. I've decided that I won't actually cut my hair, length-wise, while i'm here, i'll just try to keep some layers in there so that it doesn't go all flat and boring, and then, when I get home, i'll chop it and give it to locks of love. Because I know you were wondering.

And now i'm watching jeeves and wooster, and I am almost positive that hugh laurie is wearing blush.

But, really, what I wanted to talk about today was the parade that occurred yesterday and the ripples it caused. The parade was in honor of the troops returning home from afghanistan and iraq, and so a bunch of people showed up in order to welcome them back. At the same time, a group showed up in order to protest the war—apparently, they thought that the parade was an opportune time/place to do it. However, many of these protesters were Sien Fien supporters (a typically Catholic/republican/unionist political group—the republic of ireland is generally against the war), so a large group of protestants/nationalists/loyalists showed up. Seemingly, they were there to support the troops and/or war, but in fact they were there to protest whatever the Sien Fien supporters were there to do.

You see, friends, northern ireland is currently separate from the rest of ireland (the republic of ireland). While northern ireland is a part of the united kingdom, the republic is currently not. The republic of ireland is mostly catholic while northern ireland is mostly protestant. The sectarian divide has come about because of this desire by the republic of ireland to remain separate from the rest of the united kingdom, whereas many folk in northern ireland want to remain a part of the uk (being that it's where protestant families are originally from). This is, of course, an enormous oversimplification of the sectarianism found here (and where it stems from), but there's the watered down version for you.

The parade debacle is obviously not the first time sectarianism has become this out of hand. Not too long ago, palestinian flags were put up in several republican communities (as a show of support for the palestinian people), and as a result, folk in several nationalist communities began to put up israeli flags—not because they necessarily supported israel in the conflict, but because they wanted to oppose the republicans by whatever means possible.

What made matters even worse, in the parade situation, is that when reporting parade routes, the local news referred to the parade path and the path that the “loyalists” could take (rather than specifying the route for people who wanted to support the troops or even for people who wanted to view the parade). What should have just been a parade audience, and maybe a small war protest group, because an issue of sectarianism, all because of the language used by the media. And because of the large number of people showing up to protest the Sien Fien protest, politicians in the future may only see this large turn out as proof of Northern Ireland's support of the war.